Chapter 15 – Spring Break

A/N: NSFW content towards the end.  Also, picture heavy. 

11-19-17_6-27-40 PMBen took Grace by the hand and led her to a secluded area away from the rest of the group. He wanted to be alone with her. Not to have sex, he realized, but just to be together with her. She settled him.

11-19-17_6-33-55 PMGrace was the only girl other than Emma or Sofia that he really enjoyed just being with.  The difference was that she was the first person he had been intimate with that he looked forward to seeing again and again. Not just for the amazing sex, but just to be together. It was so easy to be with her because she made it easy. He figured that’s why he had violated his three date rule without even realizing it.

11-19-17_6-43-21 PMWhen they got to the end of the bluff that looked out over the ocean, Ben sat down on a stone that served as a chair and pulled Grace into his lap. They sat marveling at the beautiful sunset, enjoying being together…each lost in their own thoughts.

11-19-17_7-02-46 PMGrace sighed softly and put her head on Ben’s chest. He put his arm around her drawing her closer. He loved the way her hair smelled and the scent of her perfume. She was like a drug to him and he couldn’t get enough of her.  He realized that was why he had to end it.  It scared him so bad he couldn’t sleep at night – unless Grace was in his arms.

They would enjoy this one last weekend together and then he would let her go. His gut clenched at the thought of not holding her like this anymore.

His thoughts went to Emma. She said he would have broken her heart into ‘a million itty-bitty pieces’ if Nick hadn’t interrupted them a year ago. He had finally let her go and she was fine. She had Casey. Grace would be fine too he reasoned. 11-19-17_7-22-40 PMGrace gasped as the sun finally dipped below the hills in the distance. “God, it’s beautiful,” she whispered, “I wish we could just stay here like this and not have to worry about what’s going to happen tomorrow.”

Ben looked into her eyes and it hit him.  She knew.  Somehow Grace knew this was going to be their last night.  Suddenly, it was his own heart breaking into ‘a million itty-bitty pieces’ and he didn’t know why.

11-19-17_9-06-01 PMBen closed his eyes and pulled her around and kissed her so he wouldn’t have to see the look in her eyes that she had tried to hide from him.

11-19-17_9-10-06 PMTheir kiss was intimate and filled with emotion.  Ben would make this weekend special for her.  At least they could have good memories to look back on.

11-19-17_9-16-48 PM “It’s not as beautiful as you,” said Ben when they released.

Grace playfully slapped his arm lightening the mood. “That’s so cheesy Ben! I thought I taught you better.”

11-19-17_9-13-08 PMBen laughed and turned her around and pulled her to him. “You are beautiful,” he said said and kissed her again, “So tough. I can say it. It’s the truth.”

It began to get dark quickly once the sun had disappeared behind the mountain’s ridge.  “I wish we could stay here too,” said Ben with a sigh, “but it’s getting dark and we need to get back.”

11-19-17_9-25-50 PMBen put his arm around Grace and the couple headed back towards the rest of the group.

11-19-17_9-38-18 PMThe bonfire was burning brightly, beer was flowing freely, everyone was telling jokes and dancing.  The sweet smell of burning marijuana blended with the woodsy smell of the bonfire.

Grace smiled and waved when she saw their friends. His friends had become her friends. She obviously loved them and they had readily adopted her.  It made him ridiculously happy. He had no idea why. He wondered if they would remain friends afterwards, and it made him sad to think they might not.

11-19-17_9-51-47 PMGrace grabbed a drink and went over to Emma and Rachael. She slid easily into their lively conversation telling them about the sunset. Ben had no trouble picking out her sweet voice among the others. Grace found joy in the simple things. He figured that was one of the things that drew him to her.

11-19-17_9-50-41 PMWhile he watched her, he thought about their time together because he knew it would soon be over.

closetShe had marveled at his fake science project. He had felt compelled to confess why he was growing it and showed her Audrey II and III in his closet. She had laughed hysterically.  Then they had awesome closet sex.

sportsShe never complained about watching sports with him and Nick. And when he told her about fishing, she was fascinated that he liked it and asked him if he would teach her someday. He foolishly agreed like there would be a million somedays in their future.

She was perfect. The concern that he might break her like his father broke his mother reinforced his decision to let her go. And just like Emma, she would find someone else more deserving of her. In the long run, she would be okay and that was all that mattered.

11-19-17_9-48-50 PMEmma caught him watching Grace and gave him a sad smile. Did everyone know what he was thinking?  He forced a smile back at Emma.

11-19-17_9-58-00 PMAs the night went on and everyone got a little drunk, the couples  started pairing up. Their desire for each other heated up and they eventually decided to head back to the rental house to their respective bedrooms.

11-19-17_10-07-11 PMBen and Grace stayed to put out the bonfire. She looked at him with a million questions in her blue eyes that went unasked.  He put his arm around her to keep her warm. They followed the path back to the house they rented for the weekend and eventually to his, no their room.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

11-20-17_10-14-23 AMThey walked into the bedroom and Grace began to get undressed. Ben stopped her. The fear in her eyes said she thought he was going to tell her no, and this was going to be their goodbye.

11-20-17_10-07-57 AMBen kissed her sweetly. “Let me,” he whispered in her ear as he traced the little heart tattoo on her shoulder. “Angels deserve to be cherished.”  She relaxed and melted into him. Good.

11-19-17_3-46-32 PM11-20-17_10-18-48 AM11-20-17_10-20-49 AM11-20-17_10-23-15 AM11-20-17_10-40-21 AM11-20-17_11-18-34 AM11-20-17_11-31-26 AM11-20-17_11-26-13 AM11-20-17_11-09-45 AM11-20-17_11-33-50 AM11-20-17_12-41-48 PMBen couldn’t sleep, but he didn’t want to move. He laid there for a couple of hours, just holding Grace until she turned over in her sleep.

He looked at his sleeping angel.  What had transpired between them destroyed him.  They didn’t just have sex, they had made love to each other.  That had never happened before – not with anyone.

11-20-17_11-47-32 AMFinally, when he couldn’t control his emotions any longer, he gently pulled the blankets over her and quietly climbed out of bed.

11-20-17_12-24-41 PMHe walked out on the balcony and looked out over the ocean, tears now streaming down his face. What was wrong with him. He wanted to keep her, but couldn’t. He asked God the question that was tearing him up inside. “Why did you send me an Angel when I just have to send her back?”

11-20-17_12-30-17 PMNo longer able to stand, he sat down and cried.

Go to Chapter 16 >>>>>>

Go Back to Chapter 14

38 thoughts on “Chapter 15 – Spring Break

  1. Just did some catching up! What a rollercoaster. Oh, Ben… He really needs to mature before he’s ready to handle a real relationship, I fear. But it’s so terrible that he’s convinced himself he can’t have one.

    So many great girls… Sophia, Emma, Grace… But Ben really needs to step it up. This was so sad. I hope he gets his shit together soon. Don’t keep letting these wonderful girls get away! Maybe it won’t be too late to stop himself from losing Grace though…? Guess we’ll see!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ben has had some really great girls cross his path. You are so right, he has totally convinced himself he can’t have a relationship. Even though he acts like he doesn’t want one and puts on a big show that he doesn’t need anyone, I think he longs for exactly that. He is protecting his heart and doesn’t even realize that’s what he’s doing. If he breaks up first, before things get too deep then he won’t get hurt. He waited too long with Grace. He tells himself he’s protecting her from him.

      Ben was close to Emma too but she never allowed it to progress further. She was saved by Rayn still being with Ben after Christmas. I think she was close to giving in. If she had and he broke it off like he’s doing with Grace, I don’t know if she would give him the time of day. At least they are still friendly even if she still thinks he’s a dick-hay-ud! 😂

      We will see next chapter what happened after their weekend and whether or not he followed through and broke up with Grace. 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautifuly written and the pictures were lovely too.
    He’s terrified, but he should ask himself what is the worst that could happen than losing her? He should gather his courage and stop running from himself. He might find out that reality is not as bad as his fears.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for your kind words. Coming from the master at setting up awesome scenes and creating meaningful dialogue, it means a lot!

      Yes, He is terrified and does need to stop running. Perhaps he will. But what will make him do that? He is hurting pretty bad right now. Grace stole his heart without him realizing it. That wasn’t supposed to happen.

      He did gather his courage when he was younger and it didn’t turn out according to his plan. So putting himself out there again is going to be really tough for him. But maybe he will – for the love of Grace. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Sadly, he is a mess so yes his thought process is a bit off. He doesn’t really want to break up but feels he has too. We will see how it goes or doesn’t on Tuesday.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. So, I feel that Ben thinks he is afraid that he will hurt Grace worse in the future if he stays with her but REALLY he is afraid that she will hurt him because he thinks she’ll realize that she’s too good for him eventually. His mentality is ‘better to end it now when it hurts a little instead of it happening years from now when it will destroy us’.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That is exactly it. That’s why he has a three date rule. If it ends after that no one gets hurt. He got deeply involved with Grace without even realizing it from the very first day he met her. When he figured it out it spooked him bad. But is it going to hurt a little now or a lot? Ben has protected himself from being letdown for a long time. Even though it wasn’t Grace’s idea to end it . . . we will see more of what happens tomorrow when we hear from Ben and then on Friday when we get to hear Grace. Things are going to get interesting….

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Poor Ben..In the end, he is kindaaaa afraid of the whole…”idea” of love, as he is afraid of getting hurt, and love does hurt sometimes, he had many relationships that ended up not the way he wanted to in his life, and thinks he will have that as well in his love life. ( Weirdly enoguth, it seems like he has both high and low self-esteem)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Chapter 16 – Miserable | New Beginnings

  6. Ugh, Ben you idiot. Just keep her and try not to hurt her for the rest of your lives! You’re preparing to hurt her anyway. *sigh*
    Your pictures are awesome and this chapter was written so beautifully..! ❤ If Ben breaks Grace's heart I'm telling you, I'll cry, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Aww man, Grace really is an angel… Ben, how many amazing girls must cross your path before you decide to man up? 😢 Grace knowing what’s coming but staying by Ben’s side anyway is just more proof that she’s just perfect. At this point I’m wondering what it’ll take for Ben to realize his fear of hurting is what is actually causing the hurt… This was such a lovely chapter~ 💓

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your kind words. I actually cried with Ben while writing this one. You said it exactly right. His fears are what is causing his pain.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Pingback: Chapter 14 – Competition | New Beginnings

  9. Poor guy!! He is so broken! Even though I know what happens, I hope when I click the next chapter button, she comes outside and they talk about it and she gives him some kind of reassurance lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh mannn, now I’m all bummed out; talk about being your own worst enemy BEN.

    Despite the sad desperation of this chapter, I lol’d so hard at them going at it in the weed closet with the Audrey’s watching 😈

    Liked by 1 person

  11. So THAT’S why. It’s not just that he’s an asshole. He doesn’t want to be responsible for breaking someone like his dad did his mom. Aw, now I feel sorry for him.

    But Ben, rub 2 damn brain cells together. Rules are made to be broken!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. It’s so infuriating but also so pitiful to see Ben consciously decide to send Grace away – not even let her go, because she isn’t about to go anywhere but wants to STAY.
    He hasn’t found himself yet and that makes him afraid – otherwise, he’d realize what a jewel he already has with Grace. They would have everything a successful and happy relationship needs.
    It’s not sad but depressing and difficult to see he’s throwing all of that away and fleeing deeper into the fear that could actually have been alleviated by a stable, healthy relationship!

    Liked by 1 person

    • You nailed it. He is very, very afraid. Grace could’ve helped him grow and heal. He’s falling in love with her, even if he didn’t realize that’s what it was. He was becoming attached and it frightened him.

      Liked by 1 person

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