Chapter 25 – Sorry

12-12-17_8-56-17 PMBen’s time the last two weeks was spent between working, tending Audrey and her kids and going back and forth between his and Grace’s apartment.

Ben was finishing up the next batch of marijuana when Nick came back from work. It was a big one. He knew if they were able to sell the extra, it would help pay most of Grace’s medical bills.  Then he wouldn’t be forced to ask his Dad for money, something he very much did not want to do.  To that end, Ben had already potted a few of the better buds so he could step up production.

12-12-17_9-01-01 PM“Wow!” said Nick, “Is that the next batch?”

“Yes,” said Ben smiling, “It’s a good one.”

Ben motioned to the chair. “Sit down. I have a proposition for you.”

Nick sat down. “Sure, what’s up?”

12-12-17_9-04-45 PM“Well, I want Grace to move in here,” said Ben.

“Okay…sure. But what about when the baby comes. Won’t it be a bit crowded here.  Are ya’ll going to find a new place then?”

12-12-17_9-08-29 PM“Well, that’s where the proposition comes in. She doesn’t want to share an apartment with you. No offense man, but…”

“So you are kicking me out?” he asked, a hurt look on his face.

12-12-17_9-14-26 PM“No. Not exactly. You can move to Grace’s apartment. I would move there, but it’s too small for a baby. It’s an efficiency so it’s inexpensive. Plus it’s way nicer than this dump. It’s perfect for one person, or two, if Rachael decides to join you.”

12-12-17_9-12-41 PM“Shit Ben…I can’t believe after just one year things have changed this much. I don’t think I’m ready to ask Rach to move in. Can I at least talk to her about this first?”

“Nick, I really need you to do this. Listen, I haven’t told anyone, but Grace’s pregnancy is high-risk. She has a condition that could cause her to need a c-section, maybe even bed-rest during the last few months. I need her here, with me.

“And this,” he said pointing to the jars of marijuana, “is going to help pay for her medical bills. I can’t do this in her apartment.”

Nick just stared at him, “Damn Ben. I’m sorry. Why didn’t you tell me before now that Grace had problems?”

12-12-17_9-19-00 PM“I’m scared and I don’t like to think about it. I just need to take care of her,” said Ben getting emotional.

“Shit Ben, we weren’t supposed to become dealers.”

12-12-17_9-21-46 PMBen looked up at Nick, anger taking over from the sadness. “Not we. Me. And tell me, how the hell else I am going to pay for her medical bills with a shitty part time job?”

“Your folks have money. They will help,” suggested Nick.

12-12-17_9-10-15 PMWhen Ben got an ‘Oh Shit’ look on his face, Nick surmised the truth. “Ben, you haven’t told them yet, have you?”

Ben shook his head.

12-12-17_9-33-22 PM“Dude, you have to call them. Do it right now. Pull the band-aid off and get it over with.”

“I am not asking them for money Nick. I don’t want to owe them a damn thing.”

“Okay. But they should know you are going to be a father Ben. Call them, now. I will go talk to Rachael about moving and give you some privacy.”

Nick got up to leave and looked back at Ben. “Now Ben,” he added and walked out the door.

12-12-17_9-38-58 PMBen took out his phone and stared at it. Why is Nick always right? He already felt like nothing to his parents. This was only going to make him seem more like a loser in their eyes. Regardless, he had to tell them. Maybe they would surprise him.

“Hey mom,” said Ben when Kaitlin answered the phone.

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

12-12-17_9-41-52 PM“Yes. I’m good. I just needed to tell you something.”


“Mom, I met someone. Her name is Grace.”

“That’s nice. How is school and work?”

12-12-17_9-50-25 PM“Mom! Listen…please. I am going to ask her to marry me.”

“You’re what?”

“I love her and she loves me.”

12-12-17_9-42-49 PM“How long have you known her Ben? You can’t have known her long enough to make this kind of life changing decision. Can’t you wait until after you graduate? You’ve only been there for a year.”

His mother sounded panicked so he might as well drop the other shoe. “Mom. There’s more. Seems like I didn’t learn from you and Reese….she’s pregnant.”

“Oh Ben……God, I’m so sorry. But that doesn’t mean you have to marry her.”

Just as he figured, she wasn’t on his side. She did everything for Reese when his two kids were born. And Reese was in High School!  Ben couldn’t help the anger that rolled through him at her words.

12-12-17_9-51-13 PMSorry? You are sorry that I am in love and am going to be a father? I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life and you are sorry? Go to hell!” His hands were shaking when he disconnected the call. It was all he could to not throw his phone across the room.

12-12-17_9-44-01 PMHe jumped when it rang in his hand. His mom. He hit ignore to stop the ringing.

12-12-17_9-51-26 PMSeconds later, he got a text from her. He deleted it without reading it.

Ben needed to calm his nerves so he got up and grabbed a beer from the fridge. He downed half of it in one long drink before plopping back down in the chair.

The door opened and Nick walked in looking worried.

12-12-17_9-58-41 PM“She fucking called you!?” shouted Ben, more of a statement than a question. His anger was escalating.

“Ben, what the hell happened? Your mom’s hysterical. And why didn’t you tell me you and Grace were getting married.”

12-12-17_10-02-10 PM“She said she was fucking sorry for me. I don’t know why I expected her to be happy for me, to be supportive.”

“She was crying and wanted me to tell you she was sorry,” said Nick.


12-12-17_10-07-38 PMBen’s phone rang again. His Dad. “Good news travels fast. It’s Dad.”

“Answer it Ben,” instructed Nick.

Ben shot Nick a ‘go-to-hell’ look, then slid his finger across the screen to connect the call. “You call to offer your condolences too?” he said into the phone.

12-12-17_10-06-46 PM“I called because you need to apologize to your mother. How dare you talk to her like that! Just because you get one of your bimbos pregnant doesn’t give you the right to be disrespectful to your mother!”

12-12-17_10-07-06 PM“Nice. Not only condolences but a goddamned lecture. That’s perfect coming from someone that treated his family like a fucking punching bag! Don’t you ever refer to Grace as a bimbo again. She’s the only person that gives a damn about me. I love her and she loves me – so save your breath and don’t call me back!

12-12-17_10-12-43 PMBen looked up. He was so pissed he’d forgotten Nick was sitting there. Shit. “Nick…it’s not like it sounded man.”

12-12-17_10-16-58 PM“Then you better explain because that was exactly how it sounded – unless you made that shit up and I’m pretty sure you didn’t. Ben, did your Dad abuse your family? Is that why they divorced?”

“My whole family is fucked up. I’m done with them and I don’t want to talk about it.”

12-12-17_10-17-27 PM“Ben, that’s not an explanation,” said Nick.

“I’m not talking about it,” said Ben with lessening anger, “Please don’t tell Rachael or Emma. I can’t deal with the pity.”

“Grace should…”

12-12-17_10-14-20 PM“NO!!” spat out Ben, “She doesn’t need to have to deal with my family’s dirty laundry. She has enough to worry about.”

“I’m sorry, but I have to ask. Does your Dad’s current wife know?”

12-12-17_10-24-26 PM“You’re not going to let it go are you?”

“Janet and Connor could be in danger.”

“Yes, okay! She knows! He only hit Mom and Reese. Mom left him and he finally got help. So yes, his NEW wife and kid are fine. He treats them like they hung the fucking moon.”

12-12-17_10-25-53 PM“I’m sorry Ben. That really sucks.”

“Why does everyone feel sorry for me? Goddammit Nick.”

“When are you and Grace getting married?” asked Nick.

12-12-17_10-28-30 PMFocusing on Grace took the edge off his anger and he felt himself immediately relax. Ben couldn’t stop the smile that took over his face if he tried. “As soon as possible. I hope. I sorta need to get a ring and ask her first.”

12-12-17_10-30-21 PMNick grinned and relaxed too. “Congratulations man. I always thought I would be married with 3 kids before you ever settled down with one woman! For what it’s worth, you couldn’t have found a better person to raise a family with.”

12-12-17_10-27-02 PMBen sighed deeply.  “Thanks Nick. I got lucky. I don’t know how. I swear she’s an angel, and I don’t deserve her.”

Go To Chapter 26

Go Back to Chapter 24

41 thoughts on “Chapter 25 – Sorry

  1. Pingback: Chapter 24 – The One You Love | New Beginnings

  2. Not good, Benjamin. He won’t be able to keep his family a secret forever, and Grace could wonder what caused him to be so afraid of her leaving him…Unless he change his mind, things are going to continue like this, as even if they do some things right, he will continue to see it with bad eyes. Both parts are to blame in thi case, but I really thought Ben would get his feelings together as he grew older…I still think that time will help, but in this case, it seems Ben still needs quiiiite a while to get it together.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It was a really bad. Sadly his expectations were too high. Of course his parents would be worried. Sadly he didn’t see it that way and give them time to understand this was what he wanted. He and his mother never talked. He needs to sit down and have a heart to heart with her. And you are right, the truth will come out. He managed to hide it from Nick, but being with someone intimately is different than being friends.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hahaha, I love how he added, “she’s pregnant too” 😂
    I love how Kate’s still the same–still as worried as ever. I think she still thinks of Ben as a child, even after all those years. Ben saying he’s going to marry Grace probably made Kate panic, thinking that he’s only doing it out of responsibility.
    Ben is also still immature in a way as well, as he’s uneasy with his own underlying problems, like keeping his family business quiet and not letting anyone close because he’s so afraid of hurting people.
    At least he’s sure about one thing in his life–or rather, two: Grace and her baby. Hopefully he’ll be able to talk to Grace about his business. She has a right to know, and she’d accept him no matter what anyway. She’s a good girl!

    I also agree both Ben and his mom need to sit down and talk, clear up some misunderstandings.
    Or not, so it’d spiral into more issues. HEHEHEHE

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kate is totally panicking thinking of how she and Newt married because she was pregnant. She doesn’t want him to make the same mistake.

      After your tell your mom to go to,hell its kinda hard to sit down and talk. But he needs to suck it up and do it.

      Ben is totally committed to Grace and their baby. He’s growing up little by little. Acknowledging his feelings for Grace was a big step in the right direction.

      Grace is going to push for reconciliation.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Pingback: Chapter 26 – Yes | New Beginnings

  5. I’m really glad Ben is so serious about his commitment to Grace and their baby. I think he should tell her, though, about his family because it would bring them closer together. I also think that the way Ben has been in the past about commitment, she might guess it’s something to do with the way he grew up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hang on to that thought. He may finally do that. I think you might be reading ahead before I publish! Oops a spoiler maybe….they both have things to share. And I think you are right, sharing will bring them even closer.

      Liked by 1 person

    • He did’t have much of a choice other than to tell Nick. But maybe it helped Nick understand some of his behavior. And yes, he certainly could have handled that conversation with his mother and father better.

      Liked by 1 person

        • He was an ass. But their relationship had suffered after his baby was born. Ben closed himself off more and became a bit bitter. Then he discovered girls. lol. He needs to grow up a little more before he will realize his parents really do care about him. He’s still very bitter and Kaitlin’s reaction set him and he didn’t give her a chance to really hear him. And of course he started out the conversation with his Dad very negative. So it was all bound to be ugly.

          Liked by 1 person

  6. Ben really needs to get help. He has some deep rooted issues and I don’t think they’re going away by themselves soon. Although Grace certainly seems like she’s helped a lot 🙂 Ben should thank his lucky stars! But I agree with Nick, she should know.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh shit. Well, I’ve gotta say that was a very in-character reaction from Kaitlin haha It totally fits everything we’ve seen from her. Man though. I get Ben’s frustration, I do. But pushing away his family (yes, even his dad haha though Newt’s “bimbo” comment was totally unnecessary) is the last thing he should be doing right now 😦 Gahhhh

    Can we book them for some family counseling? They still need it even after all these years haha

    Liked by 1 person

    • No kidding! Newt was pissed at him and knew how he slept around so wasn’t kind. And Kaitlin…she thinks she’s helping…she never got it right with Ben. Maybe one day…family counseling would have been good about 10 years ago….

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh goodness. His parents reacted so badly, but it’s hard to believe he finally loves someone, so I guess I understand…in a way? And that angel thing keeps coming back. Lovely ❤ You know, there is a song called Sorry. The chorus goes like this: "I'm sorry to my unknown lover. Sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really starts to fall in love with me". Some of the other lyrics seem to suit Ben, too, surprisingly well.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. “I called because you need to apologize to your mother. How dare you talk to her like that! Just because you get one of your bimbos pregnant doesn’t give you the right to be disrespectful to your mother!”

    You should totally see my face lol.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Well that didn’t go over too well 😅 but Ben should’ve sensed it coming given marriage is a huge step and from the way he told the news it did seem like he decided to get married out of responsibility which would be a sensitive thing for his family given their history. Grace is such an angel, she probably won’t be upset at knowing his past, if anything, she’ll piece together that’s why he is the way he is and understand. I wonder if/when he shall tell her~

    Liked by 1 person

    Aww, everyone is having babies! Even the Audreys! 😁

    His dad was outta line, but oof, that’s your mother boy; you want your son talking to Grace like that one day?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. His parents are scum to say what they did. Ugh… hopefully they come around.
    So how old is Ben btw? Sorry for the random question. I’m just curious.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi! Thank you so much for reading! ❤️ Welcome to the insanity that is Ben’s life. 😊 He is young. First or second year in college. So around 20. Kaitlin – his mom – is really sweet. She and Ben just had issues from his childhood and she knows he often makes bad choices. She’s just worried. She loves him and really feels bad. His dad….he was an ass and definitely crossed the line.


      • Aww maybe I should get more info about his mom instead of just assuming she’s scum. Sorry. I guess the prequel ‘Starting Over’ that you made before this story talks more about his parents? Because I only started from the beginning with this story. I haven’t read Starting Over yet. I’ll eventually though. Right now I’m really into this one.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. On one side, I’m glad Ben plans to marry Grace. It could do him good. On the other hand, he should really open up to her with his family issues. How is she supposed to understand or not to hurt him if she doesn’t know? I just hope the decision wasn’t too rash and he regrets it later 😬

    Liked by 1 person

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