Chapter 27 – Sharing

12-15-17_6-51-53 PMGrace and Ben wanted to get married before school started. It was just two weeks away. They were sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee and planning a quickie wedding.

“Ben, aren’t you going to invite your family?” asked Grace.

“No,” said Ben flatly, hoping to shut down her questions.

12-15-17_6-52-01 PM“No? That’s all?” she asked.

He hadn’t told her about the failed phone call and didn’t want to go there. “Just no Grace. They wouldn’t be able to make it anyway.”

12-15-17_6-51-11 PM“Is it because of the plants?” she guessed.

“No!” he said, harsher than he intended. He just didn’t want to talk about it.

12-15-17_6-52-25 PM“Ben, we are getting married. You have to open up to me. You promised I would have all of you, remember?”

12-15-17_6-56-56 PMBen winced at her words. She was right but it didn’t make it easier to think about. “Grace…we don’t get along. That’s all,” he said, softening his tone.

12-15-17_7-06-57 PM“No Ben. There’s more….Oh God. That’s who hurt you so bad that you close yourself off. Ben, tell me. Please, share it with me and let me take some of the pain from you. I’m not going anywhere….Wait, you’re not a serial killer are you?”

Ben couldn’t help but laugh.

So, non-serial killer, future husband and father of my son, spill.”

12-15-17_7-08-26 PMHe looked at Grace and knew. He couldn’t put it off. He had to tell her. But he wasn’t going to mention the phone call. He said some horrible things to both of his parents that he couldn’t take back. Grace would be horrified. But at least they had backed off.  He let out a breath. “I need a beer first.”

“That bad?”

12-15-17_7-00-46 PM“That bad. But Grace, don’t feel sorry for me. I am happy now and it’s really okay.”

Ben grabbed a beer and sat down on the couch with Grace. He took a long swig and began his story.

12-15-17_8-05-12 PMHe told his future wife about things he hadn’t let himself think about in a very long time. She unconsciously rubbed her expanding abdomen as he recanted his story.

memThe story of an eight-year-old little boy, who along with his baby sister and teen-aged brother, were ripped from their home by their mother. How they became homeless. All because his asshole father had begun to abuse his mother and his brother.

mem1 He told her how his mother became pregnant while still married to his father. Meeting his uncle but not knowing they were related.  How his teenage brother’s two babies came to live with them.  And finally how his mother adopted another little girl.

12-15-17_7-17-49 PMGrace crawled into Ben’s lap. She must have instinctively known that he needed that physical closeness. When she settled, he rubbed her belly.  Keeping grounded in the present helped him have the courage to continue his story.  The story he had never fully shared with another person. Nick was the only other person that knew about his father and he had only just found out.

mem3He told her how he had felt confused and alone.

mem2How he ran away from home one rainy night hoping his Uncle would let him live with him.

reunion

How he accidentally reunited with his father that night. How he thought he finally had found someone that cared about him.  How he pushed the physical abuse that caused his parent’s separation into a deep corner of his mind so he didn’t have to deal with it.

ben3But it didn’t work. His father remarried and they had a new baby and Ben became an afterthought.  How he felt betrayed when he finally realized Reese was telling the truth when he told him that their father had hit him and their mother.

12-15-17_8-10-07 Grace turned around and kissed him.

12-15-17_8-45-26 PM“I love you,” she whispered. “You will always have all of me Ben. We won’t repeat the sins of our parents. No one is forcing us to be together. You are not your father. And I am not your mother. You are my Benjamin and I am your Grace. And this,” she said placing his hand on her growing belly, “this is our son who will always know how much he is loved. Loved by both of his parents.”

12-15-17_8-47-30 PMBen leaned on Grace and put his hand on her belly. “I love you both too. Your Grandmother was right, sharing helps.” He took a deep breath. “So, your turn. Tell me about your parents.”

12-15-17_8-34-50 PMBen sat up and Grace snuggled in closer to him as she looked at the picture she had hung on the newly painted wall. “My story is much simpler than yours. I was five and we were on the way to my kindergarten open house. It started raining right after we left our house. I can’t even remember it anymore – our house.

picture‘The picture of me and my parents, it was taken the week before the accident. That’s the only reason I can remember what they look like. My mother was eight months pregnant. It was a little girl. They were going to name her Kelly. I was so excited to become a big sister. A car hydroplaned and hit us head on.”

Ben’s heart was breaking for the five-year-old Grace. “You don’t have to finish.”

“It’s okay Babe. Remember, Gran said sharing helps. And besides we are getting married. You shared your past. I need to share all of mine. No secrets.”

12-15-17_8-32-31 PMBen swallowed down his fears and tried to pull her closer, looking up at the photograph imagining what it must have been like for her.

mem4Grace snuggled into his arms and continued, “I don’t remember anything after leaving for the school. I woke up in the hospital with a few bruises and Gran sitting by my bedside.

“I didn’t understand my parents weren’t coming home until after the funeral. Gran was so great. She comforted me when she must have been in so much pain herself. Gran is such a strong woman. Maybe having me was a comfort to her too.

“Gran was 65 when my mother and father died. My Grandfather died long before I was born. So it was just me and Gran. You see, Mom was their miracle baby and only child. Losing her daughter and son-in-law and unborn grandchild must have been devastating.

Gran“Gran used to say having me kept her young. But when she turned 76 her health began to decline. During my junior year of high school, she was no longer able to get around enough to cook or clean. She really needed assisted living but refused to go because the state would put me in foster care. As soon as I graduated from high school, she asked to be moved. It broke my heart. But she knew I couldn’t leave her and go to school. That was four years ago. I still call her every week.

12-15-17_8-52-53 PM“Anyway, Ben, whatever you believe, family is important. You should try at some point to figure out how to reconcile with yours. Maybe our son will be the catalyst for that.”

12-15-17_8-38-32 PMShe was way too good for him. So strong. Ben turned her face to his. “God saved you that rainy night for me. My angel. I don’t know why. I do know I will be eternally grateful. But Grace, honestly, what I don’t know is if I can forgive the last 12 years of hurt and pain. Right now, I don’t care if I ever see them again.”

Grace looked so disappointed and it hurt that he caused that. “That’s so sad,” she said, “but, deep down, I don’t think you really mean it. If they were truly nothing to you, it wouldn’t hurt so much.”

12-15-17_8-57-25 PMIt made Ben uncomfortable to talk about his parents, step-parents, Aunt and Uncle, brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews. So many of them and he didn’t belong. “I don’t know,” he said, “Maybe. I just don’t like to think about it. I get too angry.”

“Okay. But after our little boy is born, together, the three of us can try. Our little boy should have his grandparents – he should know all of your family. My parents are dead Ben. They would have loved you and our baby. And Gran….if I hadn’t had her….I don’t…”

12-15-17_8-43-30 PM“Shhh,” he said moving closer, “Let’s don’t talk about this anymore. Today, I can only focus on my new family. Making a new life for myself with you, my amazing fiance. You and our little boy are more important to me than the rest of my messed up family.”

12-15-17_9-03-11 PM.pngBen closed the remaining distance and kissed her. Grace was his future.  When he was with her, he didn’t feel pain. She made him whole. He didn’t know if he would be able to do what she wanted and it scared him.  He was afraid if he didn’t, she might leave him or grow to hate him. That was worse than trying to talk to his mother and father. For Grace, maybe, maybe he could try one more time. But not yet. Not now.

Go to Chapter 28 >>>>>>>

Go Back to Chapter 26

37 thoughts on “Chapter 27 – Sharing

  1. Pingback: Chapter 26 – Yes | New Beginnings

  2. 😥 Flashbacks of little Ben, my boyyyyy

    That’s unfortunate for Grace–The wedding would end up being pretty empty if Ben doesn’t reconcile with his family, huh? :s I hope he’ll be able to make amends someday. I’m sure they’d love Grace if they ever get to meet her!
    And Grace! She remained so kind and grew to be so strong willed even after such a tragedy happened to her parents.

    …I also low key want Ben to meet the grandma and have her judge Ben. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    • The wedding will be small for sure. And….Wednesday is Wedding Day! 😊 Be prepared for thick syrupy sweetness…

      I knew the flashback queen might enjoy the pics of little Ben. 😂

      Grace’s grandmother is a strong lady. She had to take care of Grace because they only had each other. They became super close. So she knows the value of family. And silly Ben has so much of it and wants no part of it. She’s on a mission to change that for sure because she would love to be a part of it. But for now, she isn’t going to push. Baby steps.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You go, Grace’s grandma! She was ineed a strong lady,.It’s ironic that Grace has only one relative, and she loves her, while Ben has a LOT of relatives that he dosen’t like. Im’ glad Grace is pushing him to talk to his family after his son is born, hopefully he will be less bitter about that with time..?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes. Strange isn’t it. What she would give for a family like he has. There is no doubt she will start pushing him. He is already warming up to the idea. He knows what he said to his parents was horrible and actually feels bad about it. He is right when he said he doesn’t like to think about it. But maybe because it’s painful, not because he gets mad. I think he gets the two emotions intertwined. Grace could definitely help him. I hope so.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Chapter 28- An Angel to Love Me | New Beginnings

  5. I loved how he opened up to Grace! She really has that special power over him, being able to calm him and make him believe everything is going to be alright ❤ And poor Grace, having that sort of loss must be devastating, and it's such a miracle she got to become so kind and down-to-earth. Her grandma must be such an awesome person!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Her grandma is super awesome! She and Grace are very close. Grace is almost the polar opposite of Ben. They say opposites attract. She is able to calm him and he follows her around like a little puppy dog. It took a lot, well, a baby, but that is a lot I guess, to get him to let her in and once he did, all he wants to do is make her happy.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Aw I loved the flashbacks to Starting Over! Little Ben ❤ And poor Grace! She was the same age Zayne was when his parents died 😦 So much for a little one to deal with!

    I wish Ben would invite his family to the wedding 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes…so very sweet. He is walking on cloud nine right now. I hope his happiness helps him learn that there are things worth working taking a risk for living for. 🙂

      Like

  7. Ok…are you ready for some deep Jess?

    Ever since their declaration of love, I’ve had tiny thoughts in the back of my head. I didn’t intend to share them, but there were several lines in this chapter that actually hint to my thoughts though, of course, they don’t explicitly say what I’m thinking. I love Grace. I really really do! If I were a person who can just casually read things and not thinking about them later, I would probably be tempted to think that Ben and Grace are the most perfect couple and so perfect for each other and they’ll be able to stand the test of time. But, I’m not that kind of person lol. Ben and Grace ARE an awesome couple, but I don’t really think they are perfect for each other. This relationship happened kind of fast, as his mother said, and as we’ve seen in this chapter, there is so much they still don’t know about each other. Even worse, I see a quality in Grace that may be problematic down the line. She’s looking to be so much for Ben! Well, maybe not necessarily looking to be so much to him, but she wants to fix him. Like, she really is trying to be the angel he says she is. And while he really did need an angel, she doesn’t necessarily need to continue to be that. I’m probably not making sense lol. I don’t think Grace is a needy person, but sometimes I think she needs Ben too much. Or, maybe she needs them to work too much. They are good together, but I don’t think they are actually each other’s soulmate.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have now been officially “deep Jes’d” I am honored! lol There are some great insights here. They seem like the perfect couple on the surface. But it is a ‘new’ love and they are very much in the honeymoon phase. And Ben jumps to conclusions. Grace’s need to fix him are pretty strong. So a lot could happen or maybe they will figure it out… She is expecting a lot of Ben. That’s for sure.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Grace responded just as I figured she would 😌 Glad they’ve both been open and honest with one another. With the way things are going, a small part in the back of my mind is telling me something will go wrong somehow. But I shall ignore it for now and bask in the sweetness.

    Liked by 1 person

    • They are so sweet together and Grace Is so good for Ben. She is slowly helping him heal from all the pain of not ever feeling loveable and of being afraid to love.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Uh… sweet that Ben can finally open up to her.
    But I find it kinda scary how much he needs Grace to be his angel. He appears too dependant on her, which in the end will exhaust her.
    It might be fine in the beginning, but I really hope he can move past this quickly and learn to be really okay on his own. There will be times when Grace might need to rely on him.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ben should not worry about if he’s capable to do what Grace wants. He has just shared his childhood trauma. Voluntarily, more or less. And with Grace having gone through so much as well, she surely understands that healing needs time. That was a first step and an enormous one, she will give him the time he needs to be able to reach out to his parents

    Liked by 1 person

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