Chapter 4.44 – Secrets

A few weeks later in Del Sol Valley…..

“That’s a wrap!” yelled Ragnar as soon as Levon and Sam finished filming the last scene of the season.

Next, he stood up and called everyone over. “It’s been a fantastic season!” he said with enthusiasm. “You should all be proud. Don’t forget – the cast and crew party tonight at my house. Eight o’clock. It’s time to celebrate everyone’s hard work.”

Sam stood back and watched as Levon went to Ragnar and shook his hand. She was going to miss having him on the set. It simply wouldn’t be the same without him. She briefly wondered how they were going to write him out, probably kill him off. The thought sent a shiver down her spine. She feared once he started on his own show, he would lose interest and write himself out of her life.

Even though the knowledge that Levon was leaving was a closely guarded secret, there were still rumors in the gossip mags that her show wasn’t going to picked back up for another season. Knowing that and that he wouldn’t be around made her sick. She still managed to give Levon a sad smile when he left Ragnar to find her.

“Hey, don’t look so glum,” he said and pulled her into a hug. “We have a party to go to tonight.”

“I’m not glum, see,” she said and pasted on her best smile.

He laughed. “Fake. I know that look.”

“Fine. I’m sad and depressed. I want you to be here. It won’t be the same without you. And what if the show is cancelled?” Levon’s smile faltered before he could hide it. “Oh my god, Levon, you know something.”

“Not now Samantha,” he said under his breath, his levity completely vanished.

“I’m think I’m gonna be sick,” she said as she hugged herself.

He grabbed her shoulder, putting just enough pressure on it to get her attention. “Sam – calm down,” he said, keeping his voice low, yet commanding. “You can’t say anything to anyone.” He squeezed tighter to make his point. “Come on, let’s go home and get ready for tonight. You know Ragnar throws the best parties. Besides, you have it made with him looking out for you. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Let me go,” she said through gritted teeth. She pulled out of his grip and ran to the bathroom, where she lost the battle with her nerves along with the contents of her stomach.

When she walked out of the restroom, Levon was standing guard by the door. “Better?” he asked looking annoyed.

She simply nodded in defeat. “Good,” he said, “then let’s get out of here.”

On the drive home, Levon explained that they’d tried to negotiate a larger salary for him, but he’d refused. Ragnar said they could’ve milked maybe two more seasons if he’d stayed on, but without him, it wasn’t worth the effort. Sam knew Levon would’ve been foolish not to jump on the new series, especially one written with him in mind. And it would undoubtedly have much more staying power. Plus the signing bonus was hard to turn down.

Later that night at Ragnar and Mari’s mansion ….

Sam sighed as she watched her stepfather and her mother playing host to the cast and crew that was unknowingly out of a job. It made her sick. She was fuming that he didn’t tell her and treated her just like one of the hired help.

While she watched and waited for an opportunity to confront the ass that was also known as her stepfather, she downed yet another glass of liquid courage.

Levon knew she was pissed, so he had been glued to her side the entire night. He wanted to ensure she didn’t tell Ragnar that she knew his dirty little secret.

Finally. Now was her chance. One of the cast members stole Levon away for some selfies. He gave her a warning look as he walked away. She just smiled sweetly to relieve his fears. She was an actress afterall, maybe a washed up one, but still, an actress. She looked towards the bar where Ragnar and her mother had gone to suck up to Dasche, the show’s producer.

As soon as Levon was engaged in conversation, she marched over to the bar. “Word, Ragnar,” she said glaring at him. Then she added, “In private.”

Ragnar looked at his wife and the almighty producer and shrugged. He turned and followed her to an unoccupied corner on the opposite side of the pool house bar. “What’s up Samantha?” he asked, “You look upset.”

You think?” she asked between clenched teeth. “I know, so don’t even try to deny it. Levon told me. Well, after I guessed, but it’s pretty much the ongoing rumor anyway. And you and Dasche, you bastards, you’ve let all these people think they have another season to look forward to. Screw you both.”

Sam enjoyed the ‘oh shit’ look he got on his face before he could mask it. “Samantha, keep your voice down,” he warned, “Each party agreed to wait until the last episode airs. Then both announcements will come out together. This will prevent a loss of revenue and everyone will continue to get paid until then. It has to be kept quiet, or Levon will be in breach of contract. He wasn’t supposed to tell you.”

“I’m your fucking stepdaughter,” she whisper-yelled at Ragnar, “But you can tell my boyfriend, and not me? Fuck you!” She couldn’t help the tears of betrayal that began to cloud her vision, and that pissed her off even more.

Ragnar ignored her rant, and instead, grabbed her hand. “Come with me,” he said through clenched teeth, “and keep quiet!” He quickly pulled her inside the pool house where no one could accidentally overhear them.

Once inside she stood there with anger oozing out of every pore in her body. Then, Ragnar had the nerve to try and sweet talk her.

“Samantha, sweetheart, I’m really sorry,” he said, “Honestly, it’s business. Not personal. Like I said, Levon could lose this opportunity for breach of contract if it gets out that he told anyone. He signed a non-disclosure. Now, fuck, I’m going to have to make you sign one too. I’m sorry Samantha. I’ll just tell the attorneys you overheard us talking. There’s no reason to get anyone in trouble.”

She let everything he said roll off her back instead of acknowledging his pandering. “How do the rags know?” she asked.

“Samantha. You know better than to even ask that question. You fucking know they are only guessing. But sweetheart, the show’s reaching its end, even you know that. But, I promise you, no one’s confirmed a goddamned thing.”

Sam couldn’t help herself. The tears finally overflowed. Ragnar reached out and tried to comfort her, but she pushed him away. “Don’t you dare touch me,” she barked out.

Sam and Ragnar froze and looked around as the doors to the pool house opened. Of course thought Sam, Mother, Ragnar’s shadow and number one ass-kisser. She hated them both right now.

“There you two are,” said her mother with her honeyed voice. She paused as she took in the scene in front of her. Then she frowned slightly. “What’s going on in here?”

Ragnar pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers and sighed deeply. “Samantha knows,” he said.

That’s when it hit Sam that her mother also knew. Well, of course she did. And her own mother didn’t tell her either. In that instant, she hated her mother even more than Ragnar.

“Ohhhh …” said her mother through pursed lips, as she mulled over this new piece of information. Finally she looked at Sam. “Baby, I’m sooo sorry,” she said with fake concern. Then she turned her attention to Ragnar. “Don’t worry Darling. I’ll get with the attorney’s first thing in the morning to get an NDA drawn up and have it sent over for her to sign.”

Ragnar let out a sigh of relief. “She’s right Samantha. You have to sign it. Just so you know, Mari signed one too.”

“I did,” said her mom and smiled like it was a badge of honor. “You know this can’t get out early. Levon’s new show, or the end of this one. The rest of the cast and crew don’t know about either. It would ruin Ragnar’s reputation. You don’t want viewership to go down. You’re brand would be hurt as well sweetheart.”

“Don’t you ‘sweetheart’ me,” spat out Sam. “I’m leaving. You two will understand if I don’t feel much like celebrating anymore.”

“Samantha …” said Ragnar.

“No. Let her go Darling,” said her mother, “you need to get back to the party. We’ll just tell everyone she got sick.”

“You both disgust me,” snarled Sam as she pushed her way past her mother and stepfather and walked out, letting the door slam behind her.

She quickly ducked into the main house before Levon could see her. She got out her phone and called for an Uber to pick her up. It was there by the time she made it outside the front door of Ragnar’s mansion.

Fifteen minutes later, she walked into her own house, alone. Her stilettos clicked eerily on the wooden floors. The sound echoing throughout the dark and empty house punctuated just how alone she felt.

It pissed her off, so she took them off and threw them across the room. Then she crumpled to the floor where she stood and cried.

Eventually she dragged herself up and went to the bar. She opened a bottle of wine with the intent to drink it all. She knew she’d probably regret it in the morning, so went to get a glass of water to chase it with.

When she opened the cabinet, she saw the bottle of Valium and decided that’s what she needed, not wine. So she poured a couple in her hand and swallowed them with the water. Hopefully that would calm her frayed nerves.

She figured her mother and stepfather were pissed as hell at her for falling apart and leaving. And where the fuck was her boyfriend? Why hadn’t he come after her? Probably doing his ‘duty’ as one of the main stars of the show. Ass kissers is what they all really were.

She started to cry again. When she saw the opened bottle of wine, she thought, one glass wouldn’t hurt and would take the edge off. She poured a glass and sat on the couch. She’d turn on a movie and watch it to take her mind off the people that pretended to care, but didn’t. Her mom, Ragnar and most of all Levon.

Sam greedily gulped down the first glass and poured a second, then a third. She didn’t drink the last one because she couldn’t keep her eyes open and longer. When she reached over to put the half full glass on the table, she dropped it. Fuck it, she thought, and passed out on the couch.

“Sam! Wake up!” said a familiar voice. Was there an earthquake? She wondered as she began to become aware of her surroundings. Things were definitely moving.

“Wake-up baby,” the voice insisted, “come on. I need to sober you up.” She knew who it was now. It was Levon.

“No … stop moving me,” she slurred, “just wanna sleep.”

“Oh, thank God,” said Levon. “Sam, listen to me. You didn’t drink enough to be this out of it. Baby, what did you take?”

Sam slowly opened her eyes and groaned as Levon pulled her into a sitting position. “I don’t know. I threw my shoes. I remember that.”

“Come on baby,” he said and began to pull her from the couch, “We need to sober you up. I’m gonna take you to the shower.”

She felt him lifting her off the couch and opened her eyes again. Then she noticed spilled wine on the floor. “Oops. My wine spilled. What a waste. Was there an earthquake?” The next thing she knew she was floating in the air. And her stomach lurched. “I don’t feel so good.”

“Awww shit,“ grumbled Levon, “but that’s probably good.”

He sat her down in the bathroom just in time for her to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

“My head,” she complained when she was finished.

“You need to rehydrate as soon as you can keep anything down. Can you make it to the shower or should I dump you in the pool.”

Sam held onto the toilet, but she really just wanted to lay her head on the cold tile floor. While she sat there waiting for her stomach to calm down, she began to remember. “You weren’t here,” she whined, crying again. “You shoulda been here with me. You’re no better than everybody else.”

“Sam … baby,” said Levon gently, “Not now okay. You scared the shit outta me. I couldn’t get you to wake up. Right now, I need to get you in the shower and then get some fluids in you. After that, we can talk.” He gave her a wash cloth to wash her face. Then he helped her up.

Levon put his arm around and helped her up the stairs. Why didn’t they have a full bathroom downstairs? she wondered. She’d need to call a contractor and have that remedied she decided.

Finally they made it to their bathroom. “Get your clothes off Sam,” he commanded.

Once she peeled her off her dress and hosiery, he helped her into the shower, staying in with her. Sweet Levon, she thought, he’s taking such good care of me. She leaned back against him letting him hold her up.

“Shiiiiiiit!” she screamed when the water hit her. “It’s freezing you asshole!”

“Now you’re awake,” he said and laughed.

“Not funny,” she grumbled.

“Sorry. It really isn’t,” replied Levon somberly as he reached around her and turned off the water. “Here’s a towel.”

Sam grabbed the towel and wrapped it around her. She walked into the bedroom because she needed to lie back down. She only felt better for a minute when the cold water had shocked her. Now all the exhaustion threatened to take her under again. She didn’t care if she had clothes on or not. Asshole had seen her naked plenty of times.

Levon followed her in, wearing only his boxers. She hated that he looked so yummy. “Here,” he said as he handed her a night gown and underwear.

“Thanks,” she said grudgingly. She was still mad at him. She wasn’t ready to forgive him for staying at the party. Well, she left him, but he shoulda followed her. If he cared he would have.

“I’m gonna go get you some toast and water. I’ll be right back. Don’t lay back down.”

She wished she had something to throw at his smug face.

She had already changed by the time he came back. She vaguely wondered what time it was. How long had she slept on the couch? Her phone was downstairs and there wasn’t a clock in the room. At least it was still dark outside. So maybe not very long. She hoped. “What time is it?” she asked.

“Late,” he said. “Here eat this – please Sam. And the drink some water. But not too much. I don’t want you getting sick again. Just a little at a time.”

“What time is it Levon?” she asked again.

“1:15” he said and ran his hand through his hair.

“You stayed three fucking hours after I left? You ass.”

“I couldn’t leave Sam. You understand why, right?”

“No Levon, I don’t. I was hurting and you let me leave and didn’t come for me.”

“Sam, that’s not a reason to almost overdose on pills and alcohol.”

“Nobody gives a shit about me. Only how much money they’ll make because of me. Do you know what Ragnar said? I have to sign a freaking NDA. I’m his stepdaughter!”

“He cares about you Sam, and if word got out and you hadn’t signed it, it would be his reputation. If it leaks now, he’ll be able to …”

“To what? Tell everyone it was me and I don’t honor my contracts? I got fucking naked in front of people because of a fucking CONTRACT! He can trust me! But he doesn’t trust anybody. He even made Mom sign one. His own wife – who constantly kisses his ass.”

“We all had to sign one Sam, that’s why I couldn’t tell you. And you’re wrong. I do care. Come here.” Levon pulled her into his arms and she let him because she needed to feel loved.

And that made her cry. She hated that she always cried. She cried for her show. She cried because she was already washed up. She cried because how long before Levon got tired of a washed up actress?

Levon held and shushed until she finally calmed.

Then he tipped her chin so she had to look at him. “Sam, you scared me badly tonight. Honey, I’ve told you before not to mix alcohol and pills. Please, please promise me you won’t ever do it again. You have to stop self-medicating with alcohol. Come to me baby. Let me be there for you.”

“But Levon, you weren’t here,” she said and hated how small her voice sounded.

He closed his eyes for a minute to calm himself. “I’m sorry Sam. I should’ve left when I found out you were gone. But it was the last time to see everyone and I needed to leave on a high note. You’ve been in this business long enough to know it’s ruthless. You have to make friends, not enemies.”

“Yeah, well my friend slept with my last boyfriend and flaunted it.”

“I’m not cheating on you Sam.”

She wanted to believe him, but who was he out with until 1:15? “I don’t want to be alone Levon. I don’t know how to be alone.”

“You’re not. You have me. And your mom and Ragnar, they have your back too.”

“Only as long as I draw viewers.”

“That’s not true.”

“What am I gonna do?”

“Shhhh. Let’s not worry about that tonight. You’ve had a really bad day. Come on, let’s get some sleep. Things always look better in the light of day. Lie down with me.”

Sam did as he asked and he scooped her into his arms. “I need to hold you,” he whispered, “I was so scared I might’ve lost you tonight.”

Silent tears burned behind Sam’s eyes as Levon pulled her close. She wanted to memorize the feel of his body wrapped around her. Because she knew, that unless she got another job very, very soon, this memory would be all that remained of them.

Go to Chapter 4.45 >>>>>>

Go Back to Chapter 4.43

42 thoughts on “Chapter 4.44 – Secrets

  1. Omg this girl (and everything going on around her) is a Mess with a capital M! I feel bad for Sam. Her mom and Ragnar are still scummy, even after all this time, and Sam has every right to be upset… but she needs some healthier coping mechanisms 😬 Looks like her drinking and pill use will just get worse with all the impending stress… Don’t let Hollywood ruin you like this, Sam 😭

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sam never learned to make her own decisions. Her mom just made them for her. And Dax introduced her to drugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism. Even Levon allowed it in the beginning. Now she’s just abusing both as things crumble around her. She used the alcohol to give her the courage to stand up to Ragnar. Then left when things escalated. She was right when she said she didn’t know how to be alone. She has zero coping skills. She only feels valued when she’s pretending to be someone else. Hopefully this was enough of a wake up call for her.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh crap! I was scared she really…. Not finishing that thought. Thank god he got to her in time. I think they both need to tell Ragnar to take his contracts and stick ’em where the sun don’t shine. Quit the biz, Sam, before it kills you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sam is lucky he came him. Although she may have been okay. But he certainly helped. And the fact she’s threw up probably helped even more. She should quit, but that’s all she knows. She’ll probably get a new gig soon. Let’s hope.

      Like

  3. Of course, now that Tyler is getting his life in check (sorta), Sam’s is falling to pieces. Levon is eye-candy, but very self-absorbed and I think Sam’s fears regarding him are warranted. He’s gonna be where the fame goes and chooses whichever next step benefits him and his future. If that means leaving Sam in the dust, he’ll probably feel entitled and expects her to understand.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes. Tyler is at least moving forward – somewhat. But yes, Sam’s is falling apart. She’s so insecure having always been told how awesome she was. And when she’s not on top, it’s unnerving her. She always been told what to do and how to do it. So confronting Ragnar like that did a number on her. And Levon, yes, I think he does what’s good for Levon. And you’re right, he’ll say bye bye Sam if she becomes too much of a hindrance to his own success.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Awww I love Sam. Considering the people influencing her as she grew up she’s actually very sweet and means well. She deserves so much better. I’m torn on Levon, I think he does care at least a little. Sam would be much happier back with Ryan and Cassie and the family that love her for her and not her job.

    Great chapter as always ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Glad you like her. She is sweet but very insecure considering. She’s always been spoiled and now that things aren’t being handed to her she can’t deal with it. She would better off with someone to give her some tough love. Levon, he cares I think, maybe as long as she benefits him?

      Like

  5. Sam is acting like a spoiled whiny brat. She had everything handed to her thanks to Mari’s marriage to the director. Her spot on the show was always safe. That’s more than the other actors could say. Yet she’s been complaining constantly, lashing out at Ragnar and feeling entitled. It’s not like she’s a fifty year old actress or something who needs to worry about getting a new role. She’s young. And it’s about time she grew up and make it big on her own. I bet she will yet miss Ragnar when she finds out that strangers won’t put up with this diva behaviour of hers.
    Why Mari didn’t tell her is another matter. I no longer understand what that woman’s agenda is.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Sam is a spoiled brat. No doubt about it. Everything was handed to her. She will eventually get her comeuppance no doubt for not taking responsibility for her own actions. And in the meantime, she’ll probably chase off anyone that does care about her if she isn’t careful. No one wants to be around someone that acts entitled. And she certainly does. No she’s not washed up. Not at all, well at least she won’t be unless she lets her drug and alcohol abuse get in the way. Then she most assuredly would be. Mari has become loyal to Ragnar – even over her daughter. Her agenda is as it’s always been. To be a part of the elite.

      Like

  6. At this point I feel like people around Sam should be noticing her alcohol intake. I mean, Levon *knows* and the fact that he isn’t insisting that she check into rehab doesn’t bode well for their future. And she honestly seems like she hates him but stays because she’s afraid to be alone… What a mess. :/

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes. I think right now, the only one that is aware is Levon. He’s trying to pretend she isn’t abusing since she doesn’t drink every day. Just when she’s having a meltdown. So he doesn’t see her as an addict. But she is bordering on that. Abusing and being an addict are actually slightly different but no less harmful. And yes. I don’t think she’s in love with him. Not the way she was with Dax. You’re right. She just doesn’t want to be alone. Although if he leaves her, it would be no less painful.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh no! 😨
    Alcohol and pill abuse is not a viable option … but a hard habit to put down. Life is full of failure and injustice. There will always be a new excuse to continue.
    Sam needs to take responsibility for her own life. The environment she lives in seems very toxic.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are 100% right. A hard crutch to let go of. Sam badly needs to stop relying on other people to validate her. But not sure what it’s going to take for her to wake up. I’m not so sure she is that worried about the events that just took place. In her mind she got drunk and got sick. Happens all the time. But it was much more than that. 😟

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Wow. She’s so insecure. But I can’t blame her. And if she takes to mixing alcohol and pills, she’s going to kill herself for reals. Ugh!

    Let’s hope she gets over this and somehow finds a movie or another deal that she doesn’t have to rely on anyone!

    Liked by 1 person

    • It would be so good for her to find something away from her mom and Ragnar so she could build some self-confidence. But I think he is trying to keep her to himself. Alcohol and pills can definitely kill you. She’s not trying to kill herself. She hasn’t sank that low yet, but she does seem to be bordering on depression. 😟

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Your development of Sam reminds me of Jackie Susann’s classic “The Valley of the Dolls”, and “Beyond Oz” of Judy Garlands downward spiral into fame, addiction and rehab cycle until her death. Intense, chilling to the bones, engrossing read on Sam’s POV. I dont see an “And they lived happily ever after” in Sams life right now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I got chills reading this. Yes she is spiraling big time. And you’re right. There is no happily ever after in her life anytime soon. One would’ve hoped this was her wake up call to take control, but apparently not.

      Like

  10. I dunno why Sam’s making a big deal out of an NDA. They’re all over the place. Even indie films have NDAs. Standard procedure.
    I do get that she’s more upset that she didn’t know, that she wasn’t in the know. And it’s an “in the know” that could wreck her entire career. But seriously, she’s freaking Tori Spelling here. She’ll get work if she wants it. Mari may be many things, but she is in her daughter’s pocket, granted it’s so she can raise up herself, but still. Sam has her mom and step-dad.

    I do have to agree that her relationship with Levon isn’t much more for this world. They’ve gotten used to living with each other on set. Off set just isn’t enough time, especially if they’re on different projects. Still, I think he’s an enabler, even if he’ll shout from the rooftops that he isn’t.

    Basically, Sam is beautiful. She should work that. If only she had enough self-confidence not to hide behind addiction, or crutch-usage. She’s a recognizable face, and she can keep going if she keeps up the contacts. Levon’s right. Make friends.
    That, or she could throw in the towel and take her life in an entirely different direction. Whatever the case, it needs to come from her and her own inner strength–when she finds it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’re right. She’s more angry that she didn’t know and everyone around her did. Her pride was hurt. And yes, Mari is totally in her daughters pocket. We’ll see much more of that.

      You characterized her and Levons relationship well. They are used to living with each other on the set. There really is nothing off and yes. Can you say enabler? And he will deny it’ll the cows come home.

      Sam has the looks and talent, she just needs to take charge. But whichever it has to be her. And that’s gonna be hard.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. OMG, I’m right there with Hilly! You gave me a scare for a minute when the screenshot began to go dark with that last bit of sharp contrast. But Levon caught her just in time! Even though he’s not my #1 favorite character, he was a good man to do that! I know it’s easier said than done when life is tough (and yes HER life is tough. She has trash for parents around her and a terrible ex) Samantha really needs to find new ways to cope. Excercise, yoga, call her GOOD parents and brother to lean on.)

    I might be a bit confused and had a tough time following. Is she heartbroken because her show is ending? Because Levon is leaving? Sorry, would you mind explaining why she did what she did? I’m a bit clueless. haha. 🤔🤭

    Hope she gets better and puts down those vices! DRINKING IS NOT THE ANSWER, HONEY!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sorry. I didn’t mean for it to be confusing. She’s upset about just about everything! She’s mad because she was the last to know about her show being cancelled. And of course she’s upset that it is too. She’s upset that Levon is going to be working on a different show and will be working for awhile before she is. She was really mad that he didn’t come after her even though SHE snuck out. And so is generally feeling sorry for herself. She’s learned to use drugs and alcohol to get her through tough situations and this, in her mind was a tough situation. Maybe not as much as she made it out to be. But she’s not learned how to think for herself and make good decisions. They’ve always been made for her. Plus she’s also learned people just want what they can gain by being her friend. And sadly, Levon is kinda like that too, and has totally enabled her drinking and drug abuse although he’d say he hadn’t and probably believe it himself.

      And yes, she needs to find a better way to cope. And fast.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Pingback: Chapter 4.45 – Graduation Party | New Beginnings

  13. I’m not surprised no one told an unstable, alcoholic, whiny diva that her show is cancelled, including her own mother.
    Sam could have leaked it and harm herself and everyone else.
    If she doesn’t finally act like a responsible adult, no one will treat her like one.

    Liked by 3 people

  14. Oh man… Sam is such a mess..!
    It’s not her fault entirely, as she’s been coddled and pampered all her life, so she didn’t have a reason to develop any defense mechanism whatsoever, but Sam, honey… please grow the heck up!
    All she does is drink and cry whenever things aren’t going her way. And I agree, Levon is kind of an @$$hole, but drama queen much? Let the guy finish what he has to say first! My god, this girl 🤨
    I fear it will not be long until she ends up in rehab or worse 😟

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes. Exactly. She needs to wake up and take control. She’s tried a few times to stand up to her mom and Ragnar but they weren’t swayed. So she felt like her opinion didn’t matter. So she may we’ll end up in rehab or worse. 😔

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Ahhh i can relate to Sam here. She has never learnt to be alone. She always had a boyfriend. Was always wanted, needed, loved and she has grown used to all of it. Personally I think she needs to learn to trust herself and that she can stand on her own two feet and see that she wont crumble just because the support systems are not there. The only way to do that is to unfortunately, remove the support systems and crash. Then pick herself up. That is the inner strength she lacks. She’s in a brutal world. All the more reason why she needs it 😔

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Sam is so messed up. Everyone only ever measured her on her success, on her willingness to comply. I do think that Ragnar wanted to protect her, in some messed up way. The problem is just that he treated her like a child when she insists on being treated like an adult. Although her reactions are still very much those of a child when she’s disappointed and angry.
    I was so scared when she took the valium with wine. Do we have another dead? No, fortunately, Levon was right there and guided her through the ugly sober-up. I will forever be grateful for that

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Pingback: Chapter 4.43 – Stay | New Beginnings

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