Chapter 2.08 – The First Time

Cole and Nicky had been dating all summer.  Cole was thoroughly enjoying getting to know Nicky in a whole different way.  The last couple of weeks, things were heating up between them and Cole was ready to take their relationship to the next level. He was pretty sure Nicky did too by the way they touched each other when they were alone together.

He pulled out the condoms his dad had given him a few months ago when they went on their first date. Just in case.  

Tonight was the big back to school party at the park for his class. They were going to have the pool and the clubhouse to themselves. His folks had helped arrange it, donating the use of the facility as advertisement for the Newcrest Project. It also meant that his parents would be chaperones.

As usual, an after party was planned at Noah’s for their little group. True to his word, his Dad had called Noah’s Uncle Jim. He had promised he would be there.  When Jim was there, he stayed in the basement or his bedroom with his girlfriend so he didn’t really care one way or the other.

Cole stuffed the condoms in his wallet and walked downstairs. He knelt down and gave Duke a pat.  He looked up at his parents sitting on the couch, also ready to go. “Bye Mom, Dad…see you later. And please, don’t embarrass me.”

“We’ll act like we don’t know you. How’s that?” said his dad, and laughed.

Cole rolled his eyes.

His Mom kissed his cheek. “Tell Nicky ‘hi’ for us since we aren’t allowed to talk to you tonight,” she teased.

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The party had been a lot of fun.  Cole’s mom and dad had stayed up on the balcony and didn’t bother anyone…until it was time to leave for Noah’s after party.  They came down to say goodbye and gave Noah a hard time. Cole was so embarrassed. Thank goodness everyone except their group had already left.

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When they got to Noah’s, the party continued and the first thing Noah did was hand out the beer.  Kolby and Nemo sat together on one couch and Mia and Berto took they other.  Tahani was trying to teach Noah some dance moves and everyone was making fun of him.

Cole wanted to be alone with Nicky.  “We are going upstairs to listen to quiet music,” said Cole as he and Nicky turned to leave.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” said Noah and snickered at them.

“Ignore him Nicky, let’s go,” said Cole a little irritated with Noah.

Cole pushed off Nicky’s coverup and pulled her to him. He began to kiss her neck. She smelled like Nicky and swimming pools – like a warm summer evening.  At the same time, he reached around to unfasten her swimsuit top. She pulled away from when he did.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he whispered.

She started to cry and moved out of his lap and sat on the edge of the bed. “I can’t…I’m sorry,” she said and began to cry more.

“It’s okay. What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m sorry Cole.  I just…can’t,” she said and started sobbing again.

“Please don’t cry Nicky, it’s okay,” said Cole.

“I’m sorry,” she said again and took a shuddering breath, “do you hate me?”

“No. Of course not, you’re my best friend, I could never hate you.”

She sniffed. “That’s just it Cole. You are my friend too, and I don’t want that to change.”

Cole was confused. “I thought you wanted us to be more.”

“I do, but….it got….weird, and, I don’t know….I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of me?  Nicky, I won’t hurt you, if that’s what you are worried about.  But, we don’t have to do this at all right now.  It’s okay. Really.”

“Really?” she parroted back and took another involuntary breath, “You’re okay to not do more?”

He could hear the relief in her voice. Was she that scared? “Really,” he repeated and reached up to comfort her.

She looked at him, the worry evident on her face. “And you’re not going to break up with me?”

She thought he was going to dump her because she wouldn’t do more than kiss him?  “No, of course not. We don’t have to do anything more.”

She let out a breath. “Thank you for understanding. I was so afraid you wouldn’t be my friend anymore.”

“It’s okay,” he said trying to keep the disappointment and confusion out of his voice. He hesitated a minute but had to ask again, “Is it me?”

“No…” she said, slowly shaking her head, “it’s me.”

“Can I just hold you then?” he asked as he handed her back her cover up.

She put in on and whispered, “Okay.”

They laid down on the bed. Cole wrapped her in his arms. She was soon asleep, her soft even breathing punctuated every so often by a little shudder, like a baby that had cried itself to sleep.

Cole felt so bad for causing her that much distress. They could go as slow as she needed, but it had already been four months since their first kiss. He thought that was slow enough. He knew Noah and Tahani were having sex, hell, they had seen them naked in the hot tub.  And his dad totally expected they would. He gave him condoms.

Granted, he was a little scared too, but it was Nicky.  She was his best friend. They would have figured it out together. Maybe she was afraid of getting pregnant.  He should have told her he had condoms.  So what was wrong with him? He figured it had to be him, even though she insisted it was her. She was sweet like that. So he continued to try and think of what he could have possibly done wrong. And why would she let him hold her, but not have sex?  He reached up and swiped at the wetness rolling down his face to keep it from pooling on the pillow beneath him.

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