Chapter 3.65 – More Advice

By the time Ryan got to work, after leaving Bel sitting in the coffee shop, he felt like the world’s biggest douche. The first thing he did was to ask someone else to take his first client so he could work out his frustrations on the punching bag and try to think through the mess that was now his life.

He punched Bel over and over. Then he punched Evan for bringing her into his life. Then he punched Bel again. Fuck! What if it was his? NO! She was lying. She probably has no idea whose kid it is. Then he was punching Rosa for being too focused on her damn career. Tears pricked his eyes as he punched the bag more and more.

Steve, the manager, walked into the boxing room. “Ryan! Stop it!” he demanded, “You’re going to fracture your hands. Whose face is that anyway?”

   “Mine!” growled Ryan and hit the bag one more time before stopping. He turned and walked away.

“Take the rest of the day off,” called out Steve to his back.

Ryan went upstairs and stood under the shower thinking.  He wasn’t kidding when he told Steve it was his face.  He tried to pretend none of this was his fault.  But it was just as much his fault as it was Bel or Rosa, or anyone else for that matter.  He needed to talk to someone, but who? The first person he thought of was Evan. But that would be just fucking weird. Then he knew.

Ryan got out his phone and texted his dad.

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Ryan walked in his dad’s office, and he was sitting behind his desk with a pensive look on his face.

He got up and walked over to him. “Ryan. I’ve been worried. What happened? You and Rosa have a fight?”

“No,” he said and his shoulder’s dropped, “Not yet anyway.” He knew it was coming though, big time.

Cole’s brows knitted together as he pulled the desk chairs around to face each other.  “Sit down. Tell me what’s going on then.”

Ryan was so ashamed of what he was going to tell him, but he hoped, maybe after their talk the other day, his dad would understand.  “I got a call from Bel, Maribel.  She’s Evan’s ex-wife.”

Cole’s brow shot up. “Why Ryan?”

Well, here goes, he thought and took a deep breath.  “You know, or maybe you don’t, that I was seeing her, Maribel, for awhile, before I knew she and Evan were ever married. It was casual, but we were starting to get serious.

“She was my client and was using me to get to Evan.  She was trying to get him to give in to her demands for the divorce settlement.  She picked me because of Reagan. Anyway, when Rosa and I got together, I was going to break it off with her.  That’s also when I learned who she was.”

  “What does she want with you now that has you so upset?” His dad’s sad expression said he had a good idea what was coming.

   “She’s pregnant,” confirmed Ryan and ran his hands over his face before continuing. “She insists it’s mine. She’s 4 1/2 months, which is about right. But still, I don’t want to believe it is. There was only one time that we didn’t use protection. We’d been together lots of times so I figured she was using birth control too.”

“Then make her do a DNA test,” suggested Cole calmly. “They can do it from the mother’s blood. It’s not invasive.”

Ryan hung his head. “She already asked me to. Begged me to in fact.”

Cole let out a low whistle. “That’s pretty telling son. You better do it.”

“What am I going to do? She is considering an abortion. She’s too far along though. Right?”

“Does it matter? If you knew earlier, would it really make a difference?”

How is he so fucking calm? wondered Ryan. Still, he knew the answer to his father’s question right away. “No, of course not. I couldn’t do that,” he admitted, “But, I’m not ready to be a father. And, I’m so damn busy and then there’s Rosa …”

“Ryan, I doubt anyone is ever ready for children,” he said and chuckled, “but I never thought you would give me my first grandchild.”

“You act like it’s mine!” he groused out like a petulant child.

Cole sighed patiently and smiled at his son. “Ryan, if she is begging you to take a paternity test, it’s yours. What would she have to gain otherwise?”

“Screw with me? Cause problems for me and Rosa?”  He knew those arguments were ridiculous.

His father ignored his outburst and continued, still calm. “My advice, that’s what you came here for, right?”

   “Yes,” agreed Ryan and his shoulders slumped.

“Take the test as soon as possible and find out for sure. Right now, it’s just eating you up.  Then once it’s confirmed that she’s carrying your baby, you can figure out what to do.”

“What do I tell Rosa? God, she’s going to leave me. I know she is.”

   “Your relationship won’t withstand this?” he asked seemingly concerned for the first time.

“I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not.”

“Then tell her now. Don’t wait. Keeping secrets ruins already fragile relationships. Show her you trust her.”

   “Fuck, fuck, fuck …” muttered Ryan. He knew this would be the final nail in their coffin. But he was right, he had to tell her.

“No. That’s what got you into trouble in the first place,” quipped Cole.

“Haha. Not funny Dad,” he wasn’t in the mood. “Rosa is the best thing to happen to me and I’m going to screw it up.”

   “If Rosa loves you, she’ll stay. I almost chased Dannie away for lying to me for years about Taylor. Wouldn’t you rather know now?”

“Yes, you’re right,” grumbled Ryan, “I’ll text her and ask where to go meet for the test. Dammit. I just can’t wrap my head around this.”

When he stood up to leave, instead of hugging him, his father put his hand firmly on his shoulder. “Ryan, whatever happens, don’t forget you have a family here to support you. You aren’t in this alone.”

“Thanks Dad,” he said, and walked out to face the shit storm that was now his life.

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Later that evening …

Ryan sat up waiting for Rosa again. This time there was no vampire repelling meal or bottle of wine breathing. Just him knowing his whole world was getting ready to spin into chaos. He knew his dad was right. The baby was his.

He took a long drink of his beer as he remembered the night Bel was talking about. She had him so turned on at the club, they barely made inside her penthouse.  He had taken her against the wall, both of them still nearly fully clothed, before eventually stripping and falling into bed together.  That night, she said she wanted more. He had even slept there and didn’t go home.  Well, she certainly got more. Fuck!

He jumped when the door opened and Rosa walked in. “Hi babe. Wait up again?” she asked, then when she saw his face, her expression became concerned. “What’s wrong Ryan?”

Ryan’s stomach churned. “Come sit down,” he said barely keeping it together, “We need talk.”

“This doesn’t sound good,” she said hesitantly.

   “Please, just sit down…” said Ryan softly.

“God, there’s someone else, isn’t there?” asked Rosa, looking as if she were on the verge of tears.

“No, nobody else. Not exactly. Please sit down and let me explain.”  Ryan could barely get the words out.

Rosa finally sat down, but at the other end of the couch instead of next to him. She was already distancing herself, preparing for him to break her heart.  He felt like the biggest ass of all time. Just what she had predicted was coming to pass.  “So, you remember Bel.”

“How could I forget that witch,” she said and rolled her eyes, “You’re not seeing her again?” she asked and her face crumpled as a lone tear ran down her cheek, which she quickly wiped away.

   “No, no, of course I’m not. But she called me today, and I met her at the coffee shop.”

”Why?” Rosa’s simple question was barely there, like she already knew.

 “Rosa, she’s pregnant.”

She just looked at him disbelieving for a minute as she digested what he said. “No … Ryan …” she said finally,  as tears began to roll down her face, “I’m supposed to have your babies.”

God, he’d hurt her so bad.  “There’s a chance it might not be mine,” he offered up, “I did a paternity test today. We’ll get the results in three days.”

“She did this willingly?” asked Rosa and took a shuddering breath.

He didn’t want to answer. “She begged me to do it,” he said in a hoarse whisper.

Rosa lost it. “I can’t Ryan … I can’t have her in our lives. At all. Wait? How far along?”

“What are you suggesting Rosa?”

“How far?” she screamed at him.

“Almost 5 months,” admitted Ryan.

   “You were with her while you were with me?”

“It was at the same time – sort of,” he said sheepishly, “I was seeing her and then you came to the graduation party and we reconnected. But I was already seeing her. You just … overlapped a little.”

“That bitch. She waited until it would be difficult to make a decision.  She’s using a baby to get to you!”

   “She’s still considering aborting the pregnancy,” said Ryan, now desperate to get Rosa to stay, “Is that what you want?” Once he said it, the words made him sick. When it wasn’t real, he didn’t care, but now that he was adjusting to the idea that the baby was his, he couldn’t begin to imagine it. He held his breath for her response.

   “Ryan … God, no. But, at the same time, I can’t … I can’t raise her child and pretend to love it. And have to deal with her my entire life.  And, I suppose adoption isn’t on the table from the way you are acting.” Rosa began to cry again.

“Rosa. No, I – it’s my child, probably.  Please. Don’t leave me. I need you now more than ever. Maybe I can get full custody. Make her give me – us – the baby. We could get married and …”

   “No! I don’t want a ready made family. Ryan, when I see those couples in the hospital looking lovingly at their newborn baby, I always imagined that one day it would be us. I want that Ryan, just not now. We aren’t ready, I’m working full time and going to school. You’re getting ready to start your own business. How does a baby fit into any of that? We barely see each other as it is. I won’t raise another woman’s child. If I was foolish enough to get pregnant, I would deal. But I wasn’t. I’m sorry …. It’s over.”

“Rosa …” pleaded Ryan.

   “I just can’t …” she said, and took a shuddering breath as she got up. “You can’t change what happened. You can pretend like it’s going to be wonderful, but it’s not. I have to go to bed. I have an early day tomorrow. You can sleep … on the couch tonight. I’ll find a place tomorrow.”

   “I love you Rosa,” called out Ryan. The slamming of the bedroom door was the only response.

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