Chapter 3.55 – Gunpowder and Pennies

Reagan got back to the apartment before Archer, so she quickly packed and got everything ready to go. Evan was right, he wasn’t going to make it easy for her to leave, so she had to rip off the bandage and just do it. Prolonging things wouldn’t help. As soon as he got back, she was going to say goodbye and leave. She hoped to be at her grandparents house by supper time.

She went to the bar and poured a glass of wine.  She figured a little liquid courage and something to calm her rattled nerves wouldn’t hurt.

Reagan sat down with her wine to watch TV, when finally, around 6:00 she got a text from Archer telling her not to wait up. Damn. She was going to have to stay another night. She called her grandmother and told her she’d be there in the morning.

After refilling her wine glass, she settled back down to watch a movie, killing time with a mindless activity.

Finally, close to midnight, she heard the front door open and Archer come in.  She got up to talk to him, but he was already in the shower.

He’d left a pile of clothes in a heap on his bedroom floor, so she picked them up to put them in the hamper.

The smell that assaulted her made her let out a help and she quickly dropped them like they were going to burn her.  They smelled of gunpowder and pennies, the same as Archer had that night when he carried her out of the game room. The memories almost knocked her over.

When her racing heart returned to normal, she began to worry that maybe he wasn’t okay and ran into the bathroom.

“Archer!”  yelled Reagan as she banged on the shower door.

Archer’s surprise at the interruption quickly turned into a smirk. He opened the shower door and motioned to her. “Come on in. The water’s fine,” he said.

That made Reagan mad. She was worried and obviously he was okay. Embarrassed and angry, she turned and went back to his bedroom and waited, the offending clothes still in a pile by her feet.

Minutes later, he waltzed out with a towel around his waist, looking scrumptious, wearing that smirk that she knew was meant to knock her off kilter and disarm her. “Sorry I was late. I tried not to wake you. But now that you are …”

“Stop it,” she snarled, “I was worried about you. What were you doing?”

“Working. I texted. You replied.”   She looked at his clothes and his eyes followed hers. “You’re mad because I left my clothes on the floor? I’ll pick them up.”

“No! What were you doing? And working doesn’t cut it. I want details,” demanded Reagan.

“I can’t tell you. It’s classified information. Like attorney/client privilege.” He was very flippant in all of his replies.

“You don’t have to name names. Quit trying to hide stuff from me. Were your involved in a shootout?”

“Yes. Satisfied?” he said, now getting angry.

“I thought you worked behind a desk. What do you do – exactly? Or is that classified too?”

“I manage Security and Investigations for BASE. You already know that!” he yelled, now angry and evidently tired of being cross examined.

“Is that why you were there that night? You smelled just like those clothes. Did you shoot my mother?”

“I …” he couldn’t finish his sentence.

“DID YOU?” she screamed.

“Yes! Dammit! To save your life and your father’s!”

He paused, as he ran his hands through his hair, and took a calming breath. He turned around and unceremoniously dropped the towel onto the pile of clothes, then grabbed  boxers out the drawer and pulled them on before speaking again. “My team was the one that your father called. I guess I thought you knew that.”

“I don’t really know what I thought. Everything was a blur.”

“I would’ve killed her that night, if you hadn’t been in the way. I would’ve done it for you!” he yelled.

“You’re sick.” Evan’s words began to make sense now.  Except Evan said Archer did kill someone. He must’ve known Archer was the one that did the shooting. How? She began to feel sick at her stomach.

“Dammit Reagan, it’s my job,” he said through gritted teeth.

“My God, you killed Viviana…didn’t you?” Her voice was shaking as she spoke. “You shot her and then tried to kill my mother. I can’t. I’m leaving in the morning. I’m moving in with my grandparents and then I’m going back to work.”  She stood up and walked out.

“You can’t just leave me!” he called out after her.

She ignored him as tears began to fall. He had killed someone. Evan said he wanted to kill her, but that was a normal reaction.  This was calculated. He tried to kill her.  She couldn’t wrap her head around it. She just assumed it was the police that shot into the game room. Thank god he didn’t follow her.

Reagan laid in bed awake, trying to calm herself. She didn’t want to go to sleep because she didn’t want to dream. If she did, he’d be there in a heartbeat, and she knew, she’d let him comfort her.

Once she was satisfied Archer was asleep in his room, she decided to get up and make coffee. Maybe that’d keep her awake. She could sleep tomorrow, once she was safely at her grandmother’s.

She went as quietly as she could, in the dark, to make it, then she sat down at the bar to drink it, willing the time to go faster. Then, she remembered her ‘therapy homework’. That would keep her mind active.

Reagan got her laptop and began to write. Once she started, her feelings began to flow freely. She wrote about how she felt about Archer. It was difficult. She loved him, yes, but she wasn’t in love with him. And now she was actually afraid of him. Although she didn’t think he would ever hurt her.  But she no longer knew who he was.  She loved who he had been.

Then she wrote about Evan and that was easier. At first. She’d clearly hurt him badly. As did her mother. He didn’t tell her everything. So it had to be really horrible. But he had given her a small amount of hope that maybe they could start over at some point in the future.  At least they could be friends. He may never forgive her for sleeping with Archer.  But she had to get out of San Myshuno first before any of that could happen.

Maybe that was why she had nightmares about Evan now. She’d resolved her feelings for her father before she left. Sort of. At least they had called a truce. But when Evan started to be in her dreams, was it because she feared losing him because she thought she was falling in love with Archer? Or was it the because she doesn’t love Archer, but she cheated on Evan with him? And now, she may never be able to get back what she once had with Evan.  Maybe it was really her hurting Evan in her dream through Archer?

She’d been writing for awhile, and only realized she’d been crying when the tears dropped onto her chin.  She swiped her face to get rid of them.  She felt like crap and was completely exhausted, emotionally as well as physically.  Writing had only confused her. She was glad she had another appointment with Dr. Brown in a couple of days.

Who she didn’t write about was her mother. She simply couldn’t make herself think about her. It made her nauseous. She deleted the document she had started and checked the time. It was 3:00 AM. She had to sleep or she wouldn’t be able to drive in the morning.

Reagan laid her head down, and cried softly.  She didn’t want to dream anymore and sleep brought dreams. She needed someone with her, Dr. Brown was right about that. She couldn’t be alone. Archer wanted her and would do anything for her, but she rejected him. She wanted Evan and would do anything for him, but he rejected her. How screwed up was that? The story of her life, always wanting something she couldn’t have.

Ryan, that’s who she needed to talk to, but it was 3:00 AM. She knew though that she would want him to call her if he needed her, so she picked up the phone and dialed.

“Reagan? Are you okay?” he asked, his voice groggy from being woken up.

“Yes … No….” she said,  then remembered to lower her voice.  “I just needed to talk to someone. I’m sorry. I know it’s the middle of the night.”

“Where are you?”

“At Archer’s apartment,” she said softly.

“Is he there? Did he hurt you?” asked Ryan, the sleepiness now gone from his voice.

“He’s here, but he didn’t hurt me.  He’s asleep.  Ryan, I can’t go to sleep because I’ll dream and he’ll wake me up and make me feel more guilty and I need to go home.” Her voice cracked as she confessed to Ryan.

“I’m coming to get you. I’m in Willow Creek, so it’ll take me about an hour. Can you stay awake that long?”

“You’re coming here? Now?” she asked, feeling relieved but guilty. She didn’t mean for him to come and get her. Just talk to her so she wouldn’t fall asleep.

“Of course. Stay awake. I’ll call when I get in the car we can talk while I drive.”

“Thank you,” she said and hung up.

“Who were you talking to?” asked Archer.

Reagan screamed and dropped the phone. She stood up to get it, but Archer was closer, so he picked it up.

“Who was that?” he asked again.

“Ryan … I couldn’t sleep,” replied Reagan.

He face softened.  “Come here,” he said and held his arms out. “I didn’t mean to scare you.  You can lie down with me, or I’ll go in your room and lie down with you. It doesn’t matter. I’ll just hold you. That’s all, promise.”

“No … I can’t,” she said, not moving from her spot and wrapping her arms around herself.

He dropped his arms to his side. “Is this because of what I said?”

She quickly shook her head.  “No, I just can’t sleep,” she lied.

“You’ve been drinking coffee? No wonder. But you didn’t have to wake up your brother. You know I don’t mind if you wake me up.”

“I don’t want to sleep,” she said truthfully.

“Why? Because you think you’ll dream?”

She nodded her head, chewing her bottom lip.

He sighed and looked at her tenderly. “My sweet Reagan. Maybe you should ask Dr. Brown to prescribe some anti-anxiety meds. At least until the nightmares go away. Maybe if you are relaxed when you sleep, you won’t have them.”

“She said I didn’t need them.”

“Then you probably need a new Doctor. Clearly she doesn’t understand how distraught you are. We can call her in the morning.” Archer took her by the elbow. “For now, let’s get you to bed. I’ll stay with you.” 

“No. I can’t,” she said and shivered harder at his touch.

“Why not?”

“I’ll dream.”

“God you’re shaking, you’re on the verge of a panic attack. Let’s just go sit in the living room then.” 

“Okay,” she agreed. As long as it didn’t involve sleeping and knowing Ryan was on the way, she would go. He would be here in only another 30 minutes. But why hadn’t he called? Then she remembered. Archer had her phone and it was on silent.

She let Archer lead her into the living area. They sat down and he turned on the TV, keeping the sound low. Then he pulled her next to him. He smelled so good. Not like the clothes he discarded. She shivered again thinking about it.  She let him hold her, because she was afraid not to. Ryan would be here soon anyway, then she could leave and it would be over.  She closed her eyes, just for a second.

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Reagan jerked awake when she heard noises and looked around to see where she was. She had fallen asleep on the couch, but where was Archer?  Than hushed voices drifted in from the front of the apartment. Ryan!

She jumped up and ran into the foyer where Archer and Ryan were whisper-yelling at each other.

When Ryan saw her he raised his voice. “Reagan! Get your suitcase. Let’s get out of here.”

“She’s not going anywhere,” replied Archer firmly, glancing at Reagan, “I already told you. She’s fine. You woke her up. Now get out Ryan. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave – now.”

The next thing she knew Ryan had taken a swing at Archer knocking him to the ground. “No!” yelled Reagan.

“You son of a bitch!” growled out Archer and jumped to his feet. “I’ve been wanting a reason to beat the shit outta you!” He swung at Ryan and punched him.

Reagan jumped between them before he could hit her brother again.  “Stop it! Both of you!” yelled Reagan.

Archer shoved her out of the way and managed to punch Ryan in the stomach this time, knocking the breath out of him. Then he pinned him to the wall. “Get out!”

“Not … without … my … sister,” huffed our Ryan between breaths.

“Archer! Let him go!” cried Reagan.

He ignored her and punched Ryan in the stomach again, and Ryan began to slide down the wall clutching his midsection.

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