Chapter 55 – Hot, Sexy Nerd

02-12-18_8-16-39 PM.pngSofia woke up in Ben’s bed. She watched her lover sleeping peacefully next to her. He was so handsome. She smiled inside remembering the events of the day before. It had been so perfect. She had to pinch herself so she would know she wasn’t dreaming. Every time she had been there with him and Cole, she fantasized about this moment. The reality was so much better than her fantasy. He had said he loved her. And then he showed her. Oh, how he had showed her.  Ben was an excellent lover.  She knew now, what she and Jesse had, that it was never love, only lust. And then later, just sex when he wanted it.

02-12-18_8-38-26 PMShe sighed happily and resisted waking Ben with a kiss. Instead she slipped carefully out of bed and went to the closet to grab one of Ben’s shirts to put on so she could surprise him with breakfast.

02-12-18_8-40-28 PMWhen she turned the knob, it was locked. That’s strange, she thought, must be to keep Cole out. She would have to ask him where he kept the key. She smiled as she imagined putting a few things of her own in the closet with his.

02-12-18_9-02-58 PM.pngInstead, she found the t-shirt he had discarded last night on the floor and pulled it on. This was better anyway, it still smelled like Ben, his cologne still lingering. It made her warm and fuzzy inside.

02-12-18_9-07-58 PM.pngShe padded into the kitchen and started the coffee.

02-12-18_9-11-24 PM.pngThen she proceeded to make scrambled eggs.

02-12-18_9-34-43 PM.pngWhile the eggs were cooking, Sofia began to open drawers in search of silverware and came upon the proverbial junk drawer. Lying on top of the junk was a picture of Ben and Grace on their wedding day.  Ben had probably tossed it in there knowing she was coming over. She did remember seeing it sitting on the counter.

She couldn’t help but pick it up and study it. God, they looked so happy. Ben was glowing, if that term could be applied to a man. And Grace was stunning. She could see the love they shared in how their faces.  All of the fears she thought Ben had laid to rest with his words came rushing back.  She felt homely and frumpy compared to Grace. Inadequate. Like with Jesse. She could feel tears burning behind her eyes. She wished she could take back her declaration of love.

“Sofia!” called out Ben startling her, “the pan!”

She jumped and threw the picture guilty back into the drawer. She had been so wrapped up in her own self doubt that she didn’t even smell the pan beginning to burn. “I’m sorry,” she managed to squeak out, unable to even look at Ben she was so ashamed.

02-12-18_9-40-44 PM.pngBen calmly turned off the burner and sat the pan outside on his patio.  She was shaken up, but she wasn’t sure if it was because she almost burned down the house or she was worried about Ben’s true feelings for her. Maybe both. 

When he walked back in, Ben wrapped his arms around her. It felt so good. She could almost believe she wasn’t second choice. “It’s okay sweetheart,” he said, “You are shaking. What happened?”

02-12-18_9-58-58 PM.png“I – was looking for silverware,” said Sofia into his shoulder so he wouldn’t see her face.

“No need to be upset,” he said and kissed the top of her head. “Silverware is over there. So, let me give you the grand tour of my modern gourmet kitchen, since I expect you will be visiting quite often.” Then he laughed at his own joke.

02-13-18_5-40-29 PM.pngBen proceeded to open drawers and describe their contents with a cute flourish, made even funnier because he was still in his boxers. But she couldn’t enjoy his show. The junk drawer was next.

When he opened it, he froze. “Oh, damn,” he said under his breath. “I’m sorry, I put away the rest of her pictures. I forgot this one and threw it in here in a rush so you wouldn’t have to see it. I’ll just put it in the box in my closet with the rest of them.”

02-13-18_6-00-54 PM.pngSofia felt petty. It wasn’t fair to Ben. Before he could grab it and walk away, she stopped him. “Ben, it’s okay.” she said sheepishly, “I shouldn’t expect you to hide pictures of your past. You two were very happy and so much in love. Listen, I should go. I already ruined breakfast. Can you just take me home so I can get ready for work?”

“Sofia, look at me,” said Ben and grabbed her hand to keep her from moving. “I love you. Grace is my past. I can’t pretend she never existed. But she’s gone.”

02-13-18_7-06-00 PM.png“I know,” whispered Sofia, “I’m sorry, it’s just hard to compete with a ghost, a very beautiful ghost.” God she knew she sounded whiny but she couldn’t help it. As long as they were only friends there was no pressure. But she let herself fall in love with him, to want more. Last night was amazing, but she was still afraid she couldn’t live up to his expectations.

02-13-18_7-18-13 PM.png“Sofia, how can I convince you that you are not being compared to Grace? I love you. That awful day, I knew my love for you ran soul deep. I don’t want Grace, I want you.”

“But if she were still here…”

02-13-18_7-19-21 PM.png“She’s not!” Ben ran his hands through his hair, his blue eyes even bluer because he was  clearly frustrated with her.

02-13-18_7-24-41 PM.pngSofia jumped at his tone. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly, mostly out of habit. She was always apologizing to Jesse for her inadequacies. She couldn’t help that the same feelings were rushing over her now. She felt less than. Since he couldn’t have Grace he was settling for her. She really wished she hadn’t told him how she felt. Seeing that picture drove it home that she wasn’t his first love and if Grace had lived, she wouldn’t even be here, in his kitchen, wearing his shirt. She would always feel like he was settling for her.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

02-13-18_7-44-21 PM.pngI’m sorry? She’s apologizing? thought Ben. He was beside himself. He didn’t know how to convince Sofia that he adored her. Loved her. Needed her. They had made love for hours until they fell asleep exhausted in each other’s arms. And now she was doubting him. He tried to calm himself before speaking again because he obviously frightened her with his tone. He fleetingly wondered if Leroy went through the same thing with his mother.

02-13-18_7-40-44 PM.pngBen took both of her hands in his. She was still shaking and his heart broke. “Sofia, Sweetheart. Please don’t apologize. I think, if things had been different and I never left Twinbrook, we may not have found our way to each other. And not because I didn’t care about you, but because I cared too much about you to hurt you.

“Tell me you didn’t feel the attraction at my graduation party and then again at Christmas. Or even when you came to Cole’s birthday party. And then tell me you would have been happy with me the way I was then. I don’t think you can.”

02-13-18_7-52-29 PM.png“I told you, I’ve always been attracted to you Ben,” said Sofia softly, “When we were together, you let your guard down. You were you, even in Twinbrook, and that is who I was falling in love with.”

He knew she was right, but he was also right. He had to make her understand. “I would have hurt you then Sofia. I think we both knew it. I didn’t know what love was or how to love until Cole. Had it not been for him, Grace and I would never have happened. I was trying hard to get over her when I found out she was pregnant. You see, she was like you. She tried to see the real me. So, Sofia, you have it all wrong. I compared Grace to you, not the other way around.”

“Oh Ben…”

02-12-18_9-52-36 PM.pngBen put his hands on her face to make her look at him. “Tell me you don’t love me, and you don’t believe I love you, then you can walk out of here and I will leave you alone. But know, there will never be anyone else for me.”

02-13-18_8-14-38 PM.pngSofia reached for him and he quickly wrapped her in his arms, breathing her in. She was crying softly. “I can’t say that because it would be a lie. I do love you,” she said and buried her head in his shoulder.

“And I love you,” said Ben relieved. She was more fragile than he thought. She had put on a brave front. “Don’t cry sweetheart,” he said as he stroked her hair. “You act like loving me is a bad thing. I won’t hurt you. Not ever. I promise.”

02-13-18_8-18-38 PM.pngShe looked up at him with those beautiful brown eyes that he could get lost in. “I’m sorry. It’s all so overwhelming,” she said softly, “It’s a fantasy that I only dreamed about. I don’t feel like I am pretty enough or sophisticated enough. I never thought you would ever want someone as nerdy and plain as me.”

02-13-18_8-20-40 PM.pngBen couldn’t stop the laughed that rippled through him.  Nerdy? Maybe. But plain? No fucking way. “Baby, when was the last time you looked in the mirror? You were so damn sexy at dinner that I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. And right now, standing here in my t-shirt. Fuck Sofia. It’s what I dreamed of. And last night, when you were in my bed, I have no words. I can’t get enough of you. You are my beautiful, hot, sexy – nerd.”  Ben moved closer with each statement until she was trapped between him and the counter. His face was barely and inch from hers. He wanted to kiss her so bad, but didn’t want to scare her.

02-13-18_8-22-37 PM.png

Sofia looked at up him when she bumped the counter. She asked breathlessly, “Hot?”

Ben smirked. “Hot Baby. Feel,” he said and guided her hand to his growing erection.

She gasped and took a deep breath, her pupils fully dilated. “Sexy?” she asked huskily.

02-13-18_8-21-59 PM.png“Mmm huh, sexy as hell,” growled Ben pulling her tight up against him. “Beautiful. Hot. Sexy.”

02-13-18_6-54-17 PM.pngBen captured her lips with his then stopped just long enough to finish his sentence. “Nerd,” he whispered.

Sofia let out a satisfied groan and melted into him.

Go to Chapter 56 >>>>>>

Go Back to Chapter 54

46 thoughts on “Chapter 55 – Hot, Sexy Nerd

  1. LOVED IT!
    Ah, I’ve been waiting for ages for them to get together, god knows I did!
    I know that it is hard for Sofia to realize when she looks at the pictures of the loving couple, but you aren’t limited to only one person that you would love in your life. And Ben, fortunately, has just recently managed to understand it.
    I can’t help but think that there will be a new roller-coaster in store in the future. After all, Ben is still not done with the drug dealers. Grace may have never found out the importance of it, because she was worn out after the pregnancy, but Sofia…

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes. They are together! ❤️Ben is really working hard to convince her of that! You bring up a good point about the drugs though. Sofia probably won’t be so easygoing about it. 😮

      Liked by 1 person

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  3. Awww poor Sofia. I see a lot of Kaitlin in her… I think it can be so hard to recover from something like that (though thankfully she never had it quite as bad as Kaitlin did!)

    That ending was so hot! Phew! *fans self* Forget those scrambled eggs, I know what’s really on the menu for breakfast 😉

    Liked by 3 people

    • Yes. Jesse did a number on her already poor self esteem. He totally manipulated her. So Ben’s gonna have to help her get over that and he was doing a good job there at the end….whew….Yep, I know what’s for breakfast. They never ate the tiramisu so….Oh, you meant….Maybe a little hot sexy kitchen fun! ❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Holy shit, that last part of the chapter was so sexy. I loved it, and it really showed the emotion between them. I liked how he realize that he had to be calm around her because of what his mom went through with Leroy. It’s starting to come together and I honestly don’t think Nick is going to mind too much when he finds out. He probably saw it coming after all they are best friends and if everyone else saw that they loved each other he will too when he visits.

    Go Befia, rocking our universe!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes. Let’s hope Nick doesn’t give her a hard time and will accept them. Nick hasn’t really seen them together like everyone else. Just at Coles party and that was a while ago. And he did see how Ben was with Grace, so maybe he will cut him some slack!

      So, we will find out on Sunday when Sofia tells Nick about her and Ben. At this point he doesn’t even know about her and Jesse breaking up. She doesn’t want to talk about that for obvious reasons…so I think Nicks going to be shocked.


  5. Why do I feel like a need a cigarette after reading that last part? LMAO!! (And I have quit smoking for over six years already! 😂)
    This was amazing! I’m so glad Ben is patient and sweet with her, that’s exactly what she needs ❤ But you forgot Emma, Ben, you little liar 😛 Aww well, deep down he always saw her more as a friend than anything else but he was too messed up to know!
    And hmmm, what about the drugs now? He won't be able to hide those forever! The drugs, Nick… the things that could compromise their relationship are already piling up! 😓

    Liked by 1 person

    • 😂😂😂 Pretty hot huh? Had to fan myself after that too! ❤️❤️❤️
      Awww, Emma…always a friend and a good one. 😊 Patient, tender and sweet is exactly what she needs and Ben is doing a good job of providing that.

      The drugs….and Nick… 🙁. Definite roadblocks that they will have to overcome…Next chapter on Sunday, she will reach out to Nick to fill him in. Cross your fingers he is understanding and will get onboard their ship, 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Sofia really is a hot, sexy, nerd. It is so sweet how caring Ben is with her!! ❤ ❤
    I wish that they could stay in their perfect little relationship bubble forever. But no good can come from what is behind that locked closet.

    Liked by 1 person

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  8. Ohhhhh yes. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) It seems like Sofia and Ben will turn out to be a great couple ineed ( Ahhh it’s so good to have a surviving ship) One a more serious note, I could see how Sofia would belive that she was the seconf option in this situation, as she is now ”against ” someone that can’t age or do any mistakes, but, like Ben said, he did like her, and if you live in the wolrd of ”ifs” you won’t live in the wolrd at all. What happened, happened, there’s no way to change the past.

    Liked by 1 person

    • A surviving ship indeed! She has her own insecurities and that’s part of why she stayed with Jessie for so long. Ben is doing his best to reassure her. He gets frustrated when she starts doing that because he can’t really fight it other than by showing her…which he did..haha…❤️❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  9. So much for Sophia making it to work. Ring ring, “hello work? yeah, I’m going to be off today. In fact, I think I will be off for a good long while. When will I be back? Oh well you see, Ben just used those damn gorgeous horny eyes on me and called me his sexy hot nerd…. Been waiting my whole life to hear him say something like that….sooooo…Yeah, I think, I think that is going to keep me in his bed, till I can’t walk or see straight anymore!”

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I can absolutely feel Sofia’s uncertainty. It’s hard to compete with a ghost. It will take time to understand that he loved Grace but that he also loves her. The same, but in different ways because they’re different people. And Grace is part of who Ben is now, it would be hard and too much to ask to shut her from his life entirely. Memories can’t be *made* forgotten
    That hot scene and his passionate speech in the end surely did a lot to convince her but until it’s arrived at her feelings as well, it will take some time. And that is only good and right.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Awwww. I really feel for Sofia. She went through hell and has to recover from that. I see a lot of Kaitlin there, but thankfully, she was able to get out before it got as bad as what Kaitlin went through. It still did a number on her though and I think those demons are going to rear their ugly heads for quite a while. But Ben will be there to help her through it, no doubt. Maybe they both ought to go to therapy so he can learn how to help her even more.

    It’s such a tough position for her to be in, knowing Ben loved someone else before her and feeling like second fiddle. It certainly can’t be easy. It’s something they are going to have to work through together. But he is quite ready to move forward, and I hope Grace is smiling from heaven. She would want him to be happy.

    Phew! I had to fan myself. That last scene was hot, hot, and hotter. Who needs food when you can have your lover on the menu? 😄😍

    Liked by 1 person

    • She did go through a lot and Jesse messed with her head. I’m glad she was able to get out before it got worse. And Ben will be there for her for sure. They both could probably use a little therapy. Lol. Who needs food indeed when your lover is yummy. ❤️😍

      Liked by 1 person

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